Author
Bowtie 團隊
Updated on
2026-07-29
When attending a funeral to mourn the loss of a relative or friend, it is a traditional custom to give condolence money (Pak Kim) to the bereaved family as a token of sympathy. The Bowtie team has prepared a guide on how to write on a condolence money envelope, the taboos to avoid, and whether there is a “standard amount” for Pak Kim, helping you show respect and bid a proper final farewell to your loved one.
What is Condolence Money (Pak Kim)?
Pak Kim (also known as Din Yi, or condolence offering) is a traditional funeral custom prevalent in the Sinosphere (such as China, Japan, and Hong Kong). When attending a funeral, guests present a white envelope containing an odd-numbered amount of cash to the deceased’s family. This gesture shows respect for the deceased, helps alleviate the financial burden of the funeral on the family, and expresses heartfelt sympathy.
How to Write on the Condolence Money Envelope
When preparing Pak Kim, the money should be placed in a white envelope or an envelope provided by the funeral parlor. Seal the envelope and write on it vertically in Chinese. The simplest way is to write “[Sender’s Name] 敬輓” (Respectful Condolences) in the center of the envelope; if the deceased is a junior to you, you can simply write “[Sender’s Name] 輓” (Condolences).
If you wish to be more formal, you can use a detailed format. In this format, write the upper section (the deceased’s name and title) on the top right corner, and the lower section (the sender’s name and honorifics) on the bottom left corner. This follows the traditional Chinese vertical writing format, reading from right to left, top to bottom. Below are the appropriate honorifics based on the seniority and identity of the deceased to show your utmost respect.
Upper Section
|
Seniority / Identity of the Deceased |
Upper Section Phrase |
|---|---|
|
Elder |
「輓 [Name] 仙遊」 |
|
Friend / Peer / Junior / Distant Relative |
Male: 「[Name] 先生 千古」 / Female: 「[Name] 女士 靈佑」 |
|
Immediate Family |
「[Name] 冥鑒」 |
|
Christian / Catholic |
「[Name] 先生／女士 主懷安息」 / 「[Name] 先生／女士 魂歸天國」 / 「[Name] 先生／女士 息勞歸主」 / 「[Name] 先生／女士 蒙主寵召」 |
Middle Section
Write the two large Chinese characters “奠儀” (Din Yi) in the middle of the envelope to show solemnity.
Lower Section
|
Seniority / Identity of the Deceased |
Lower Section Phrase |
|---|---|
|
Close Elder |
「[Name] 叩輓」 / 「[Name] 頓首拜輓」 |
|
Elder Relative |
「[Name] 淚輓」 / 「[Name] 拜輓」 / 「[Name] 敬悼」 / 「[Name] 敬輓」 |
|
Family Peer |
「[Name] 泣輓」 |
|
Junior |
「[Name] 輓」 |
|
Friend |
「[Name] 敬輓」 / 「[Name] 敬悼」 |
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Is There a Standard Amount for Condolence Money?
Discussions often arise online about how much Pak Kim one should give, with some suggesting a minimum amount to be considered decent. In reality, there is no fixed “standard market rate” for Pak Kim. The amount depends entirely on your personal intention, your relationship with the deceased, and whether the deceased was the family’s primary breadwinner. It is entirely up to your discretion and financial capability.
However, when giving Pak Kim, remember that the final digit of the amount must be an odd number. Traditionally, a one-dollar coin is added to a rounded amount, such as HK$101 or HK$301, symbolizing that funerals should “only happen once”.
Taboos Regarding Condolence Money Envelopes
Pak Kim must be placed in a white envelope or one provided by the funeral parlor; never use a red packet (Lai See).
It should be given in cash; gift cards, discount cards, or cash vouchers are not acceptable.
Pak Kim cannot be given retroactively or in two separate envelopes, as this signifies “holding a funeral twice,” which is considered highly unlucky.
The white envelope used for Pak Kim will not be returned or recycled.
The final digit of the Pak Kim amount must be an odd number. It cannot be an even number or a rounded figure. In traditional Chinese culture, “even” numbers in the context of funerals are deemed inauspicious. Furthermore, if a rounded amount is given, once the one-dollar coin from the return gift (Kat Yi) is deducted, the ending digit becomes 9, which sounds like “long-lasting” (長久) in Cantonese, carrying the unlucky implication of enduring sorrow.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Can I give condolence money if I do not attend the funeral?
Yes, if you cannot attend the funeral for any reason, you can still offer condolence money to the bereaved family to show your sympathy. In this situation, the family does not need to give you a “Kat Yi” (return gift) in exchange.
When should I hand the condolence money to the deceased’s family?
You can hand the condolence money personally to the family members or receptionists at the mourning hall on the day of the funeral. If you are unable to attend, you can ask a relative or friend who is attending to pass the envelope to the family on your behalf.
What is “Kat Yi” (Return Gift), and how should I handle it?
After guests give condolence money, they will receive a return gift called Kat Yi from the family. It typically contains three items: a piece of candy, a tissue, and a one-dollar coin. The candy represents a touch of sweetness to ease the bitterness of grief. The tissue is used to wipe away tears of sorrow. The one-dollar coin expresses gratitude and symbolizes that the sad event will happen only once. You should consume the candy, use the tissue, and spend or donate the coin on the same day before going home.
Can I give condolence money if there is a clash of red and white events (weddings and funerals)?
According to traditional customs, if you experience a clash of red and white events, such as a recent wedding or birth in your family, you should avoid visiting the mourning hall or giving condolence money within 100 days to prevent bringing bad luck, and vice versa.
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